52: Thoughts on Thoughts

I like to think a lot. Actually, I overanalyze most of the time. I look at even the smallest of details, the littlest of things. I also like to think about the what if's, the what-could-be's, and the if-only's. Yes, I do a lot of counterfactual thinking. My mind's busy now more than ever, though.

How can you really be sure about something? If you say you just feel it, then what feeling should you wait for exactly? How do you know know that that's the feeling you're waiting for? Is it simply based on your instinct, or is there some other objective means to determine the feeling? Aren't there more realistic signs and symbols that actually tell you what the heck it is that you're finding? No hints? No arrows?

We live in such uncertainty that, at times, it can be scary. Where are we really going? And what do we really want to be? But maybe, this uncertainty is the same thing that keeps us going. Still, I ask: when and where does the uncertainty end? Do we end ever end up certain about anything? If it's not unanswerable by a yes or a no, if we're stuck in the in-between's and the I-don't-know's, then are we actually going somewhere? Are we led to a path with a concrete end, or are we just endlessly moving to nowhere?