33: Here I Go Again

The first time I saw this, I cried. Seriously, tears trickled from my rest-less eyes for around a minute. I was so stressed and tired then, and being appointed a position this significant was something that I did not want to find out at that moment. But now that I've breathed a bit and restored my sane self, I can honestly say that I'm really thankful and privileged to be Scope's next Associate Editor. I can say that I am happy.

Yes, I am still overwhelmed. And yes, I am anxious. Terrified is the better term to sum up what I'm feeling, actually. Although I have lots of experience with publications, Scope is still different. It's a medical school publication--a post-grad publication. Different people. Different crowd. Different issues and topics. Different expectations. A different level of maturity. Plus, I became an active member just recently, so I don't really know how the organization works. I also don't know too many members. I think I know less than a third of the members, and majority of these are simply familiar by face. So there's a lot of learning new things, relearning old tricks, meeting lots of people, and adapting to several changes in store for me.

But after some contemplation, I realized that maybe I need this. Maybe I should return to what I love doing. Maybe the stress I'm experiencing will be a bit bearable if I won't cage myself to just one thing, which is studying to become a good doctor. Maybe I need to stress myself with other things, too--things that may tire me, take up my time, effort and money, and consume my energy, yet still bring fun and happiness in my life. They say that the key to a good life is a balance of everything, so maybe I should balance the stress as well? Haha. I seriously missed real writing, designing and layouting though, and I think it missed me as well.

Balancing my responsibilities as Assoc Ed with surviving second year of med school (which is said to be the hardest of all year levels) will indeed be the ultimate challenge for me. But I shouldn't just grow into a good doctor. I should (and can) grow into a good doctor who decided to live her other passions in life, too.

I already accepted the position, so here goes to a more toxic but hopefully more meaningful and fulfilling school year ahead. Good luck to me! :)