90: Weak In The Knees

It was magical because it was sincere and unexpected. It was magical because it came from you.

Love :)

89: GAAAAAAH

I know that I've abandoned this blog once again, but I cannot not write about today.

This feeling that I have today is the same feeling that filled me when my dreaded Org Chem professor told my borderline-depressed self that I passed the course and that I would be able to graduate college on time and take up medicine. This is also the same feeling I had when Close Up's Marketing Manager pulled a set of stapled red toothpaste cartons from the pile of entries and read my name on it, announcing that I was one of the winners of the free Taylor Swift concert tickets. Real, inexplicable, always-makes-my-eyes-water-whenever-I-think-of-it, THANK-YOU-SO-MUCH-LORD happiness. This is that feeling.

It's not yet super sure, pero GRABE LANG. This opportunity is sooo much to be thankful for already. THANK YOU, LORD, FOR THIS IMMENSE BLESSING :')

88: Out Of The Ordinary

Today was another great day for me! I got a front row seat for GMA's RH Bill Debate taping, went to Congress again, ate lunch together with the big-ass Pro-RH Bill people, was introduced to Risa Hontiveros (waaah she now knows my name! :">), fell in great adoration with Dr./ Cong. Janette Garin, and wore purple corpo clothes. Plus, I got tons of love after one seriously draining day. To my Stress-Reliever, thank you <3 I super needed it. KILIGZ MUCH. Hihihi.

Aaaah, one good (and busy) day coming up!

87: Unbelievable

Today has been unbelievably unexpected, tiring and amazing. I learned loads, met some of the most awesome advocates in the country, and got out of my comfortable cocoon of being more-or-less apolitical.

To nine more days like this!

86: Today

Why the scarcity of posts? Blame it on our school Orsem.

But don't get me wrong, I super loved our work. As in, SOBRA. Chad and I were assigned as the heads of the Publications Committee, and if you know me, you would probably associate me with such stuff. Writing, layout, design, photography--artsy fartsy stuff--si Bea mahilig 'dun. So although I was drained a great deal, I enjoyed every bit of our tasks. The kind words of praise from those who saw our hard work were really heart-warming and rewarding, as well. And to top all that off, Orsem was sooo awesome. The performances, the tours, the program.. ANG GOLENG. Our effort as a batch was so evident, I could cry. Haha. Pero totoo talaga! Kinilig ako sa ASMPH Class of 2015 :)

Anyway, what's with the title, you might ask? Well, today, May 16, will be the start of a lot of things for me:

1. Start of our two-week internship (we're assigned to PLCPD Foundation, Inc.)

2. Start of my two-week diet (in preparation for the SCOPE Plansem in Sunny Batangas, wee!)

3. Start of my no-more-late-nights routine (I must sleep at 11PM, AT THE LATEST. Eyebags, be gone!)

4. Start reviewing for the compre exams (and for YL6)

5. Start of my daily workout (again, for a beach-ready body for Batangas and Cebu)

6. Start saving up! (as in tipid na tipid na tipid!)

7. Start of an active, meaningful, and blissful summer (no to laziness, negativity, and overthinking!)

Let's do this! :)

85: The Real Thing

It takes a great deal of maturity to live a life of happiness and love. You have to compromise, but you have to fight for what's right. You have to admit your faults, but you have to stand up for what you believe in. You have to understand, but you have to be firm.

Life's really a battle of dichotomies of sorts, a mismatch of the things important to you. In the end, you are the one to decide: will you listen to your heart or your head? What would a mature person do?

84: Stressed Out

I hate people who don't live up to their promises and who seem to think they can get away with anything because the people they deal with are nice. I've always been the understanding one, but there is a limit to what I can put up with.

83: 7 Days

• Overnight in Binangonan with friends
• First tuli experience
• Crispy halo-halo
• Endless orgwork
• Confusion, still

Right now, I'm feeling sick. Running under the drizzle proved that I am not as invincible and healthy as I thought I was.

Good night!

82: Hear the Heart

"It's impossible." said pride.

"It's risky." said experience.

"It's pointless." said reason.

"Give it a try." whispered the heart.

--Para sa'yo, gawa ko.

-From one of my best friends, Mica.

81: That Feeling

"Nararamdaman ko 'yung puso mo."

"Tumitibok 'yan para lang sa'yo."

Hearing this in real life, minus the almost-perfect romance seen in movies and TV shows, was heart-warming. Although I answered back with a "WEEEH" and laughter, I admit that I got kilig--the kind of kilig that not even Love Actually or A Little Thing Called Love can compare with :)

80: Love

Someone said, "Fall in love over and over. Fear of love is ridiculous."

Hmm.. What am I afraid of, really?

79: Don't Know Why

78: Lost

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what I feel.

77: :)

76: This

75: To New Beginnings

Thank you, Lord, for reminding us that we can always rise again because You are here for us. Always :)

Happy easter, everyone!

74: A Trip To The Mountains

My mom, two brothers and I went to the mountains today for a quick change of environment. Our destination? Our family's favorite resort in Tanay, Pranjetto Hills. Here are some snapshots of the brief family retreat (more pictures and a longer post on my main blog, probably):

73: Good Friday

Thank You for life and love. Thank You for being my strength and salvation.

72: That's How You Know

Aww, I want to watch Enchanted again!

I especially love the reggae part!

71: I'm Getting Vaguer and Vaguer By The Day

Maybe this is what I need.

70: Oh Well

Time to sleep.

69: Untitled

How Do You Know?

68: Graduation

Today, my best friend graduated from the University of the Philippines. I can imagine how she feels--an intense happiness brought about by endless learnings, life-changing experiences, and hard work, and a strong fervor the serve the nation.

Those were the same feelings I had around a year ago when I moved a piece of clothing from one shoulder to the other. And although a part of me is captured by the other great university along Katipunan, I will forever be proud and grateful that I am an Iskolar ng Bayan.

67: What I Need

I thought I got what I needed but I was wrong. I found out that there's still something missing, and the right thing to do next is still asafawertarsewnhsohka to me.

Why does it have to be complicated? Avril Lavigne, kasalanan mo 'to eh.

66: Dizzyyy

Ako na ang weak. Red Horse, talo pa rin ako sa'yo.

65: The Road Less Travelled

This essay by Scott Peck is making me think. A lot.

64: Surprises

This day has been quite productive. First, Kat and I are finally part-time proofreaders for Gawon International, wohoo! We thankfully passed the training earlier which, despite being quite simple because our job basically requires us to take note of the errors in syntax of Korean-written articles, was a great learning experience. I discovered that "everyday" is an adjective, while "every day" is its adverb form that is supposedly used in sentences such as "I go to school every day." All this time, I used "everyday" for those kinds of sentences. And do you know what inflections are? I didn't (or at least I forget already, hihi). But that is all in the past. Haha. Anyway, real work starts tomorrow, and we have to proofread at least 10 articles per day from then on. Wish us lots of luck, patience and grammatical oversight.

After the training, Kat and I bonded at Megamall. We had a quick merienda at the food court, then bought some milk tea and sylvanas. My brother suddenly texted that a big box from JRS Express arrived for me, and so I rushed home. And when I entered our front door, the box waiting for me was indeed large--3/4 of a balikbayan box, I guess. I opened it and inside was at least P2000-worth of Unilever products! Dove, Close Up, Pepsodent, Surf, Axe, Pond's, Vaseline, Creamsilk, Sunsilk, and Clear! I screamed in delight, jumped around, and called my mom in Tanay. Haha.

Remember I won in Close Up's Taylor Swift Concert Tickets Raffle around two months ago? According to the letter that came along with the box, the package was Close Up's way of making up for the lower-rate tickets that we received. We should have gotten better seats, but apparently there was a mix-up in ticket coordination with Araneta Coliseum, so the winners ended up either in the Upper A section or in the Upper B section. But wooooah, that much products?! Intense lang talaga! Hahaha. As my one of my older brothers put it, "ano meron, pasko ba?" Hahaha!

So aside from "thanking Close Up" (I forgot to chronicle my television exposure here! I'm in Close Up's Taylor Swift Concert Promo commercial being shown on ETC and Jack TV, yo! Haha!), I should also say thank you to the entire Unilever Coporation now! Haha. What a suprise, really. I never imagined that it would be that much! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, UNILEVER!

So on with what happened today. After dinner, my youngest brother and I went to Ultra to jog. Following the mini work-out though, we ate the yummiest isaw in the world (AKA Dinky's isaw), so the little pounds that we shed eventually didn't matter anymore. And now, I'm here, resting and blogging, being the lazy daisy me again. Ah, this is ze life, mehn.

I better enjoy tonight, anyways. Tomorrow marks the day I commence my quest as a proofreading machine. Kat and I promised each other that we should receive at least P20,000 for our first pay on May 26. Take note, at least. That's how determined we are to make money money money. Haha. Cebu, wait for us. We shall afford a trip to you soon enough :p

63: Yay

Yay for Orsem productivity

Yay for Zumba

Yay for honesty

Yay for clarity

62: Here, There

I went from Makati to QC to Pasig then Makati again today. I got to experience a lot of first's:

1. Ate Korean ice cream (waffle ice cream nomnom! :3)

2. Had a lot of stuff hard-bound at SC (13 modules, yo!)

3. Saw my parents and brother's project near NAIA 3 light up (what a pretty sight, really)

4. Tried the Starbucks Drive-thru in The Fort

Today was kind of tiring, but still worthwhile and fun. I spent time with my mom and siblings, and I also met up with some UP friends for a bit. Earned loads of gossip in the process. Haha.

Excited for tomorrow's Gold's gym work-out! :D

61: It's Summertime

Summer vacation to-do list:

• Finish at least three leisure books
• Submit an article to Youngblood
• Lose 5-10 pounds
• Learn the basics of driving
• Learn how to cook at least three dishes
• Hit the beach
• Go to Cebu, wohoo!
• Paint and draw
• Get a part-time job
• Save up
• Take lots of photos
• Catch up on Gossip Girl, The Big Bang Theory, HIMYM and Modern Family
• Go on endless movie marathons
• Spend time with my mom, dad and youngest brother in Tanay
• Paint my nails green, blue green, melon or pink
• Wear dresses more often
• Finish reading the speedreading book
• Get a massage and/or foot spa
• Study for the compre exams

60: Habits

Yesterday was a day of missed med school habits:

• Studying and learning (cell, biochem and genetics)
• Eating, eating and eating (pizza, pasta, mojos, chicken, chips and Dunkin' Donuts)

So far, I don't SUPER miss med school yet. Onti pa lang :p Oh summer vacation, you bring me so much bliss and freedom. I love you.

59: Fail, Win

FAIL

Alex and I were supposed to attend the Zumba class at Gold's Gym Galle at 5:30 this afternoon. I was waiting for her at Gloria Jean's. When she arrived a little after 5:30, the first thing that she told me was, "OMG may kasalanan ako sa'yo, Bea!" Apparently, she left her gym voucher in her car, and she left her car at school. So she left her things with me and went back to pick up the voucher.

Around 15 minutes later, my phone rang. It was Alex, and hilariously, she realized upon arriving at school that her car keys were in her bag, which she left with me at Galle! So to save time and energy, I went to school with our things. We then rode her car and went immediately to Galle so that we could still make it to the 6:30 class.

But the sequence of failures did not end there. There were no free parking spaces in the carpark, so we circled around the place in search for a potential parking space. We ended up at the exit part of the carpark, and there was no turning back because there was already a long line of cars waiting behind us and we had to space to back off or to U-turn. So we sped out the exit without paying nor returning the car ticket. We then went back to the carpark entrance, and the people there interrogated us on why we already had a ticket, how come we were allowed to go out without paying, which security guard led us out, etc etc. We caused a bit of a commotion, but then the carpark entrance teller thankfully freed us from shame and hassle and simply gave us a new car ticket.

We got to Gold's Gym a little before 7:00. We were excited to find out that there were 7:30 classes, and cool ones at that! The choices were yoga, street dance, and smoves (hiphop), the latter two of which we strongly preferred. We became ecstatic since despite the many blunders, finding out that we could still attend fun, heart-pumping classes was refreshing.

Then we realized that we were wrong. We found out that the 7:30 classes were for other days, and the classes available during Fridays were only until 6:30, so there was actually no way for us get a work-out today. So much for anticipation, really.

Alex and I simply ended up bonding at Cerealicious. It was a fun heart-to-heart talk--a necessary one, even. Although a lot of time and energy were not put to good use, at least I got to spend time with Alex and talk about all things girly and cheesy with her. Fun fun! :)

WIN

I finally have a part-time job! I got accepted for the Korean proofreading thing and training starts on Wednesday. YAHOOO!

After the disappointment last Thursday, this was a pump up to my self-efficacy. Thank you, Lord. I needed this.

58: Out There

It was a lovely Thursday morning. I woke up with a smile on my face, happy and excited for the work that I would be doing. I carefully picked the clothes I'd be wearing the night before. I prepared my things and packed it in my backpack. I wanted everything to be perfect. At last, I landed a part-time job for a company--a job that I'm really passionate about.

But then I reached the office, and I found out that I wasn't in yet. There were two of us waiting on the HR person, and only one of us would get the job.

I knew at once that he had the advantage. We talked a bit, and I found out that he was a great and talented guy. He was older, more mature. He had numerous professional experiences tucked under his sleeve. He had a great personality. He was better than me.

When my phone rang with an unknown number on the screen while I was having lunch, I kind of expected that the call would end with me not ecstatic. And lo and behold, I pressed the end call button with glumness. They picked him.

Yes, it is not a big deal. It was obvious from the very start that he was more appropriate for the job. Besides, it's just a quick sideline, nothing serious. But honestly, I find it hard to accept what happened. The expectation, the excitement. My confidence, My skills. This is the first time I actually applied for an "office" job, and I was not accepted.

"Sorry, but we opted to select the other person. I hope you are not too disappointed."

Rejection is difficult. It really hits you. Sadly, it really hits you hard.

Ah, growing up.

57: End the Boredom

I've got a layouting sideline tomorrow and Friday, and hopefully a part-time proofreading job.

No more food-movies-sleep cycle for me. Productivity, hello to you.

57: Dreaming

"Happy are those who dream dreams, for they are ready to pay the price."

56: Sometimes

Sometimes, I don't get you.

Sometimes, I don't get me either.

Sometimes, I wonder about how you changed somehow.

Sometimes, I'm scared.

Sometimes, I want to step back.

Sometimes, I wish we could just settle what needs to be settled.

Sometimes, I just miss you.

Sometimes, I wish I could just tell you everything.

***

I will tell you everything, sooner or later.

55: Irony

Expectations vs. reality.

54: Behind

Contrary to what I mentioned in an earlier post of mine, I wasn't able to catch up on the many entries that I missed. Oh well, I'll just start again today, hopefully sticking to the daily posting that is the main purpose of this blog.

So what have I been up to? There's school, of course--my main stressor in life. It ended last week actually, but we had to wait for the results of our grades so the stress went on even after classes concluded. The grades for all modules were completed just this morning, and I'm so ecstatic to say that I passed all modules and I'm off to my 2nd year of med school. NO REMOVALS, YO! TAKE THAT, CARDIO-PULMO, ENDO, AND NEURO! WADDUUUUP!

I'm so happy happy happy! As in HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! I screamed and got teary-eyed while I hugged my mom this morning after finding out I passed. At last, all the pressure and fear are off and I'm free as a bird this summer vacation! Still, I do hope and pray that my batchmates who need to take removals will pass. Some of them are even my closest friends in med, and I simply can't imagine my 2nd year in med school without them. It just wouldn't be the same, really :(

In other news, I'm so excited for summer! Although I am as poor as a rat, I can't wait to find a part-time job, as well as to get fit! Hopefully I'll land an academic tutorial, a writing, or a sales stint soon. Jogging in Ultra has also been really fun and fulfilling lately, so I'll be doing more of that. I just wish I could play badminton soon, too. It sucks that it day in the badminton court costs a lot, and I'm flat broke now.

But, what the hell. FINALLY, I CAN SAY HELLO, SUMMER VACATION!

53: Smile

Milk tea tastes a whole lot better when someone dear to you made it for you.

Thank you :)

52: Thoughts on Thoughts

I like to think a lot. Actually, I overanalyze most of the time. I look at even the smallest of details, the littlest of things. I also like to think about the what if's, the what-could-be's, and the if-only's. Yes, I do a lot of counterfactual thinking. My mind's busy now more than ever, though.

How can you really be sure about something? If you say you just feel it, then what feeling should you wait for exactly? How do you know know that that's the feeling you're waiting for? Is it simply based on your instinct, or is there some other objective means to determine the feeling? Aren't there more realistic signs and symbols that actually tell you what the heck it is that you're finding? No hints? No arrows?

We live in such uncertainty that, at times, it can be scary. Where are we really going? And what do we really want to be? But maybe, this uncertainty is the same thing that keeps us going. Still, I ask: when and where does the uncertainty end? Do we end ever end up certain about anything? If it's not unanswerable by a yes or a no, if we're stuck in the in-between's and the I-don't-know's, then are we actually going somewhere? Are we led to a path with a concrete end, or are we just endlessly moving to nowhere?

51: Calories

Shemay, I almost finished a bag of Nagaraya. It's 150 calories per serving, and one bag is 6 servings. UUUUGH. Halos naubos ko na 'yung isang pack eh! Wala din 'yung tinakbo ko kanina :|

50: Life

"Life's too short to be unhappy all the time, so if you know what truly makes you happy, you have to go and get it. Don't make money the center of your being. Hang with people who know how to live life before you lose your youth and vibrance, but know your limits. Also learn how to stick up for yourself because if you don't, there might come a time when nobody will, just because life has the uncanny ability to surprise us when we least expect."

-Armi Millare, Up Dharma Down

49: Flicker

Who are we?

If not for clarity, if not for light, how can we be defined?

In darkness, in blur, do we remain?

48: Seven Financial Stewardship Strategies

1. Save.
2. Give.
3. Get out of debt/stop borrowing money.
4. Live a simple life.
5. Invest.
6. Educate yourself.
7. Pray before you pray.

47: Wherever

46: We Are Pandas

One night, my brother and I transformed into a different kind of mammal.

45: Make Up

I'm more than 10 posts behind, oh golly. But I'll catch up, you'll see.

44: Validation

Stop now, Bea.

43: Game Plan

We were given the day off today so that we could study for our terror exams next weeks. I honestly need to study my butt off because I haven't really understood anything from the lectures yet. I haven't read my books nor finished even a third of our transes either. I. AM. DEAD.

But instead of stressing out about how indiligent I am as a student, I'm gonna shift all my energies into making these three study days work. I can do this.

Neuro, I will conquer you. No removal exam for you, you'll see. Game on.

Off to making my three-day study schedule now.

42: Relief

Yesterday was not a good day. I had a lot on my mind, was disappointed with myself for not being productive, and got really pissed off with someone that I burst into tears. But thank you to these awesome men in my life who made things better and tried to give me the proper perspective that I needed.

Chad and Aaron, you're words and jokes really helped after that cry fest. Thank you so much for staying with me until the tears dried :)

And to Borbs and my Kuya Andre, thank you for bringing comfort not just in the form of yummy food (Mcdo fries and Dunkin Donuts, for more satisfying yet heavy calories haha), but also by trying to make me smile. Thank you for always reminding me that I have to stop a bit, learn to let go, stop worrying too much, chill and just let things fall into their proper places. Thank you for always being here for me :)

Better days ahead, I am sure of it.

41: Struggling

Bakit ang tamad-tamad ko lang? As in sobrang antukin at walang drive, to think that I have a neurological exam preceptorial to attend to later. Spirit of perseverance, please take me away from this unproductive phase.

40: So Little Time, So Much To Do

I fell asleep last night when I had four important things to do on my to-do list. I wasn't able to accomplish any.

@$W#%Q$@!!!

Then breathe.

One thing at a time, Bea. Kaya mo 'yan.

39: This Is Me

..At past 1 AM.

38: Mutual Weirdness

"We are all a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them, fall in mutual weirdness, and call it love." -Dr. Seuss

37: Four Eyes

I went to the optometrist today and had a new pair of eyeglasses made. I broke my old pair when I slept while wearing them on. I know, ang fail ko lang :| Anyway, at the eye clinic, I found out that the grade of my eyes rose to a whopping 250 and 275 from a grade of 100-ish on both eyes! After hearing the bad news, I suddenly regretted reading my books when the lights were dim, not following my parents when they told me to use the lamp shades they bought me for reading, and pushing myself to read while in a moving vehicle. I remember the time when I was so proud of myself for having 20-20 vision, thinking that my eyes would stay perfect forever and ever. It never crossed my mind that I would be part of the four eyes federation, nor did I imagine that my eyes would be as bad as it is now.

Oh, well. Looks like the nerdy look is here to stay.

36: Instant Curls

Easy tutorial on how to curl your hair with a sock. Yes, a sock! I haven't tried this yet, but I will surely do very soon! I just hope my locks are long enough. Curls curls curls!

35: Predisposed

"Embryologically, the brain pushes the heart."

34: Born This Way

I'm beautiful in my way

'Coz God makes no mistakes

Amazing song. Amazing cover. Amazing young Filipina.

33: Here I Go Again

The first time I saw this, I cried. Seriously, tears trickled from my rest-less eyes for around a minute. I was so stressed and tired then, and being appointed a position this significant was something that I did not want to find out at that moment. But now that I've breathed a bit and restored my sane self, I can honestly say that I'm really thankful and privileged to be Scope's next Associate Editor. I can say that I am happy.

Yes, I am still overwhelmed. And yes, I am anxious. Terrified is the better term to sum up what I'm feeling, actually. Although I have lots of experience with publications, Scope is still different. It's a medical school publication--a post-grad publication. Different people. Different crowd. Different issues and topics. Different expectations. A different level of maturity. Plus, I became an active member just recently, so I don't really know how the organization works. I also don't know too many members. I think I know less than a third of the members, and majority of these are simply familiar by face. So there's a lot of learning new things, relearning old tricks, meeting lots of people, and adapting to several changes in store for me.

But after some contemplation, I realized that maybe I need this. Maybe I should return to what I love doing. Maybe the stress I'm experiencing will be a bit bearable if I won't cage myself to just one thing, which is studying to become a good doctor. Maybe I need to stress myself with other things, too--things that may tire me, take up my time, effort and money, and consume my energy, yet still bring fun and happiness in my life. They say that the key to a good life is a balance of everything, so maybe I should balance the stress as well? Haha. I seriously missed real writing, designing and layouting though, and I think it missed me as well.

Balancing my responsibilities as Assoc Ed with surviving second year of med school (which is said to be the hardest of all year levels) will indeed be the ultimate challenge for me. But I shouldn't just grow into a good doctor. I should (and can) grow into a good doctor who decided to live her other passions in life, too.

I already accepted the position, so here goes to a more toxic but hopefully more meaningful and fulfilling school year ahead. Good luck to me! :)

32: Just When I Wanted To Give Up

..I come across this. And the bad vibes suddenly seeped away.

Study what you can, Bea. Don't give up and stay inspired.

31: Unproductivity

STRESS. PANIC.

30: Depression

Hello, damaged self-confidence :(

29: Life As I Know It

Right in front of me here at Starbucks is a group of male adults, each with a PSP in hand. They're having the time of their lives playing something involving guns and bombs and blood, and I'm here being envious of them and having my usual dose of med school toxicity.

Although it's hard to accept at times, this is the life I chose--a life rid of Friday nights of video gaming but one involving new highlighters every two to three weeks, numerous photocopied books and readings left unread (too much info, so little time huhu), daily doses of coffee, tea or energy drink, and an exponentially increasing girth.

Ah, life.

28: Music and Lyrics

Meet Jeremy and his violin

It may be hard to believe, but I had been part of band and I played the drums. I also played the bamboo flute, lyre, harmonica, piano and guitar before. But it never came to a point that I excelled playing a music instrument; I knew the basics, and that was it. A jack of all trades, a master of none.

Still, I've always dreamed of playing in front of a big crowd inside an auditorium or at a park. My parents bought me a flute as a reward for winning a contest back in high school, and I thought that that was my ticket to the realization of my dream. But then years came and passed, and I never really got to learn how to play it. Learning the proper way to blow air into the mouthpiece was already hard, what more the many complicated finger presses. I even thought of just selling my flute to have some extra cash for my med school needs, but when I told my mom about it, I received a scolding. She told me that I should never sell it and should learn to play it someday.

I really hope I do learn. When I'll have the time, energy or determination, I don't know. But who knows, my musician dreams might still come true. Somehow. Someday.

27: Neuro

My current cellphone wallpaper, for more inspiration and motivation

Hello, Neuroscience Module!

My Neurology/Neurosurgery dreams depend on me understanding and loving you.

26: Sweet Surprise

"To the first of two doctors in my family"

Donuts from my dad to my mom. Ma will soon be finishing her doctorate :p

"To My Dearest Taylor Swift Family,

Hi, hello and musta.

-Dad"

I arrive home and these meet me. Some suprise donuts for my mom and for us siblings from my dad. He passed by our house in Pasig since he had a meeting. I merely see him like once or twice a month since he stays in Tanay with my youngest brother, which is sad. Good thing I'll be going to Tanay this weekend to help my brother with his schoolwork, so no more missing daddy (and baby brother) by tomorrow :)

P.S. Yes, I'm behind posts. Bah, Neuro and ManDyn took my week away.

25: Down With the Flu

I really hate it when I'm sick. I'm pretty much an independent, strong and healthy girl all year-round and I super rarely get ill, but when virus hits, I transform. I turn into this vulnerable, weak, tear-eyed little baby. Plus, I look horrible when I'm sick. Huhu.

Tissue, please.

24: Arf

Meet the doggies: Potchi and Scofield.

23: Fangirls

This is Mica and I while waiting to get into the Araneta Coliseum yesterday. That cute small bouquet I'm holding is from Close Up, the sponsor of our free tickets. Until now, I still can't believe how lucky I am to have won in the raffle! That moment when I heard my name called on stage is playing in my head and is making me smile right now because seriously, Mica and I were so hilarious. But that story deserves a separate blog entry.

Anyway, although I was feeling sick last night (and today I'm down with the flu for real), the concert was still so awesome. Taylor Swift was lovely, as expected. Her song list was 13 titles short, but every song caught the crowd's heart. Everyone sang crazily with her, the cute, girly voices of the crowd resonated loud within the Dome. And her hair. HER HAIR. I want it so bad! Her dresses were all so pretty, too. Ikaw na, Taylor Swift. Ikaw na ang maganda. Haha.

Yaaaay! Dream come true :)

22: Happiness

Passing our Renal Finals + winning free tickets to Taylor Swift's concert + going back to UP + UP Fair + Sugarfree + that little thing

= BEST DAY EVER :D

21: Nomnom

My new addiction:

Jack n' Jill MAGIC CHIPS! Borbs introduced this to me last week, and I got quite hooked since then. It's basically flavored biscuits that taste like actual chips. It oozes with flavor and every piece is yummy to the bite. And what's better about it is that it's baked, so it's healthier than the other regular chips out there. Oha!

I couldn't find a nice picture, so I just embedded the commercial. This is the first time I watched it, actually. Haha.

I just finished one now but I want mooore. Nomnom.

20: The Ultimate Test

GO, DISCIPLINE. JUST TWO MORE DAYS.

19: Stressed yet Blessed

My family experiences this all too often: when I'm stressed, I would be all quiet, snobby, and teary-eyed. But thank you, Prof. Sibal, for taking me out of this current unpleasant state that I'm in. Renal physiology is making me feel stupid right now (gaaah why am I such a slow learner!), so finding out that you finally agreed to move our STRAMA paper and presentation deadline to next week made me want to cry tears of joy and do the chicken dance. Hahaha!

WEEEEEEEE! Thank you, Lord!

18: Hearts All Over the World Tonight

My mom's text:

"B, m n UST. Uwi ako maaga. Enjoy d day w someone u love. Di ko na tatanungin kung sino."

Happy valentine's day!

17: Do You Believe in Serendipity?

ser·en·dip·i·ty

n. pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties

1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.

2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.

3. An instance of making such a discovery.

16: Fireworks

I just had an amazing night with an amazing person :)

15: Neighbor

You were one of my childhood crushes. I didn't go out too much as a kid, but I remember you. I know you knew me as a kid. In the minimal times I went out, I know you carried me and played tagged with me and we had fun. You were this tall, slender teenager, and I was a little girl in pigtails or braids.

Now, you wash your daughter's little pink Disney Princess backpack, then scrub the tires of your red car. Now, you carry a belly. And when I accidentally drove the shuttlecock to you and it hit you on the back, I said sorry and you just smiled.

You might not remember me, but I remember you. I'm that little girl in pigtails or braids who you used to play with.

14: On Love

"Love is a commitment towards imperfect people for whom you seek the greatest good."

-Pastor Peter Tan-Chi

13: Again

Today, I broke someone's heart :(

12: Oh, Taylor

11: Smitten

"The thing is, I'm not scared anymore."

10: Departure

I see you at the cafeteria. I pass you by the lobby or near your room. I hear stories about you from a friend. But those were it. The only connection that I have with you is that 1) we're schoolmates; 2) you are a familiar face in school (because of the former); and 3) you're friends with my friends. Aside from these, you can as well be a stranger to me as I am a stranger to you.

Nonetheless, I am sad that you're gone. You were one with me in my dream of becoming a doctor. You were someone I could draw inspiration from because you're surviving med school. You made the lives of so much people happier with you around. You were a good person. Now, all these have come to a halt.

You cannot be one with me in my dream anymore. I cannot draw inspiration from you. You cannot bring happiness to the lives of many. You cannot continue being a good person that you are. These all ended when you were taken by Him unexpectedly.

Yet the end of your life does not equate to the end of what you started. Despite you're sudden departure and although you cannot continue on with us, you will always remain. You're up there now, but I will pursue my dream partly for you. I will always remember how you wanted so much to become a doctor but was just scheduled to leave early by God. The wonderful memories you left will remain as sources of happiness for your friends and family. And you will be left in the hearts of many as the good person that you were.

Darryl Martin, I don't know you. You know that, because you probably don't know me, too. But thank you for being the person that you are. The world will always miss someone now that you're gone.

9: Lazy Daisy

Because I literally just slept all day.

Oh, happiness!

8: Congratulations

I don't know if I was able to cross it over

From my heart to your ear

That you did one good job,

That you were so great up there

And for what it's worth--

Although I don't know if I should feel this way

But still, I do--

I'm proud of you, you disabled dancer

And you'll always have a fan in me

7: Wacky

One random, crazy med school day,

we morphed.

6: You

Come up to meet you
To tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

Thank you :)

5: Energy

You failed me, Bacchus.

4: Problem Identification

Because I'm confused

On what to do

On how to act

On where to stand

3: Unexpected

And then you made me smile again :)

Thank you for the sweet surprise, Borbs!

3: Life

We breathe, we live

We laugh, we live

We cry, we live

We survive, we live

We die, we live

2: Hi, Hello

My mom, my messy-haired self, and my brother Jay's new video camera.

I missed him.

1: Sight-seeing

I gaze at you while you gaze, too

You gaze at letters arranged with sense,

Lines of sense filling page after page

Lines gently traced by your finger tips

You look intently, deeply

You try to understand that you seem to not comprehend

With a wrinkled forehead

You attempted to decipher

You scratch your forehead

And shuffle on your seat

As noise filled the place where we stayed

Music played, laughter emanated

And then you flipped the page

Your bright red bookmark filled a different space than before

You smiled at the new lines of sense that caught your eye

And so I smiled, too

I smiled at you then gazed away

Beginning

Today, I start my project 365 of anything. By anything I mean anything—from a random idea, a story, a doodle, a photo, to a song, a recipe, a prayer, or an eavesdropped anecdote. As in anything under the sun, moon and stars. Anything that captures my thoughts and my mood. Anything that fills my day.

Game.